Junior
Cert Diary
Claire Mc Nelis
Crana College, Donegal
Wednesday 6 June
English papers 1 & 2
The Bach rescue remedy drops don't fit right in my pencil case so I am
forced to carry them. Whether or not I will use them is debatable as on
the one occasion I did use them in the mocks I almost fainted, and was
left fighting off the nausea, sweating and blurred vision in the last
5 minutes when I was supposed to be finishing my English essay. I find
my seat and sit down, keeping myself busy by wishing myself, friends,
classmates and people I have never seen before but are evidently in my
year, good luck. English paper one is handed out and I read over it as
instructed by my English teacher. I follow her advice of giving long answers,
which is fine and dandy until I realise I have only 20 minutes for my
essay. I scrawl out something I had prepared and add at the bottom that
I have run out of time, in a weak attempt to evoke some sympathy. I check
over my other answers as the papers are being collected and thank God
and every other force behind my reading 'No Logo' approximately one week
beforehand, which proved helpful in my answer to a question about a Nike
advertisement. Which leads me to ponder the word 'plagiarism.' I leave
the hall wondering why all my answers in section 1 were so similar, and
whether or not I really want to be a writer if it means finding a black
and white photo of 2 farmers who appear to be engaged in a conversation
about large cans of milk and who are very possibly characters from 'Bracken'
inspiring. And guess what?! I get to do English paper 2 in 1 1/2 hours.
Paper 2 proves uneventful. Manage to include a quote from 'To
kill a mockingbird' in novel question and Shylock's entire 'Hath not a
Jew eyes?' speech in play question. Dead proud of myself.
Thursday 7 June
Maths paper 1, Irish paper 1
God bless mathematics! God bless revision books! God bless fathers who
don't mind coming home from work in the evenings to frustrated 14-year-olds
who are convinced there is a mistake in their maths books but no, don't
mind if daddy explains where they went wrong.
Where did the Irish language come from? Surely it evolved from some other
language, like English did? Or maybe sadistic farmers, who possibly engage
in conversations about large cans of milk, invented it, while drunk? Because
some druid or other predicted that hapless adolescents would have to study
it in 1000-odd years and they thought it would be a bit of craic? Finish
my Irish paper with 45 minutes too early and spend the remaining time
trying to remember if I've ever seen any of James Dean's films.
Friday 8 June
Irish paper 2
Irish paper 2 as brutal as paper 1. Write 10 lines for questions requiring
1 or 2, hoping that somewhere within the mutation of the Irish language
lies something that may pass for the correct answer. Parents leaving for
the weekend tomorrow morning. Impeccable timing, elders.
Monday 11 June
Maths paper 2, Geography
Curse Pythagoras and all that were close to him. His theorem didn't actually
come up, but I don't know the names of the people who proved the theorems
that did, so I am channelling my anger towards a dead mathematician who
drowned one of his own students. Wonder why I don't know the difference
between 'similar' and 'congruent' and whether it makes much difference.
I forget that I only have 2 hours instead of 2 1/2 for Geography and
set aside 1/2 hour that I don't actually have for my last question. Don't
realise my mistake until the examiner announces that we have five minutes
left and I haven't finished my penultimate answer. I nearly have a panic
attack and glare at him when he goes to lift my paper so that he leaves
me to last and I have a few precious seconds more to attempt an ordnance
survey map.
My Geography teacher will kill me.
She will kill me.
She will kill me.
Tuesday 12 June
CSPE
I am asked to identify 4 buildings that I have never seen before in my
life. Won't rich, well-travelled students have an advantage? Why is it
so much harder than the past papers and the mocks? Why did I only have
one class a week for an exam subject? Why am I so desperate to pin the
blame on someone else?
Wednesday 13 June
Business Studies papers 1 & 2
Didn't study much yesterday, my half day. I realise on the way to my room
that my sister's marble run at the top of the stairs is sent by the devil
to tempt me but it's just so colourful and...
4 1/2 hours of business studies is just wrong. Blag my way through most
of paper 1. Don't want to talk about it.
As soon as I sit down for paper 2 I spot a spider abseiling down the
leg of my desk. In a brief moment of love and respect for all living creatures
I decide not to squash it with my as yet unopened bottle of rescue remedy.
5 minutes later it had disappeared. Oh GOD!! Can't concentrate for the
remaining 115 minutes. I just know that it's on me somewhere. Why can't
I just record stuff in one place? Why waste paper?
Thursday 14 June
Science
Suffer anxiety, palpitations and various other symptoms of a panic attack
in the first 5 minutes of science. My palms sweat which renders me unable
to write until I wipe them several times on my jumper. Take a drink from
my bottle of water in an effort to calm myself slightly. The plastic bottle
makes a loud cracking sound as I swallow its entire contents and everyone
within a 10-seat radius and the examiner turns to stare at me, causing
my palms to sweat again. Thanks, guys.
I plod along happy and dry-handed and finish with a comfortable 15 minutes
to go. Why are there letters on the diagram of the eye in my biology question??
Close friend informs me later that I was supposed to use these to answer
the questions below, for which I summoned faint memories of words like
'iris'. Stupidity is in the eye of the biology question. Ha, ha.
Ever-selfless father spent 2 hours last night explaining every electronics
question in my past papers. When I show him my paper and tell him my answers
he informs me that I got the whole question right. Must read up on home
educating.
Friday 15 June
Home Economics
Last exam! Sister tells me that the beauty of home economics is its incorporation
of common sense, of which I have none. Play it safe and give 8 points
where 5 are asked for, leaving myself unable to do the recommended extra
question. No matter. I am among the last 3 people. Close friend leaves.
Last two people. Extremely smart girl leaves. Last person. The examiner-who
has somehow appeared more nervous than me for the past week and a half-decides
to make polite conversation and scares the hell out of me.
'You must me the best at HE, are you?'
'No' I reply, scribbling furiously.
'You still have 10 minutes left.'
'Yeah.'
I draw a passable harmful/irritant symbol, seal my envelope and hand it
to the examiner, and swallow 3 times the recommended dose of rescue remedy
to ensure that I don't hug him or something. He tells me to have a nice
summer and I mumble a reply before sprinting out into the sunshine (sunshine?
Am I still in Donegal?), waiting for the elation and ecstasy. It doesn't
come. Ah, well, there's always the leaving cert.
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