|
Volume 1 (1999/2000)
Issue
1 (March 1999)
Issue
2 (Nov. 1999)
Issue 3 (Dec. 1999)
Issue 4 (Feb. 2000)
Issue 5 (March 2000)
Issue 6 (April 2000)
Issue
7 (May 2000)
Volume 2 (2000/2001)
Issue 1 (Sept. 2000)
Issue 2 (Oct. 2000)
Issue 3 (Jan. 2001)
Issue 4 (March 2001)
Issue 5 (April 2001)
Issue 6 (May 2001)
Volume 3 (2001)
Issue 1 (Sept. 2001)
Issue 2 (Nov. 2001)
Categories
Sport: 1
2 3
Lifestyles: 1 2
3
Commentary: 1 2
3
Review: 1 2
3
Writing: 1 2
3
Event: 1 2
3
|
School
Tours – A Teachers Guide
Don O'Meara
Ballincollig CS, Co.
Cork
What have blood shot eyes,
an ample supply of calming sedatives and a pack of uncontrollable teenagers
in common..... answer: a very brave or a very foolish teacher on a school
tour. For any human being to undergo such a harrowing experience certain
skills must be sharpened and perfected over time. Once you are up to date
on your life insurance payments and suffer from no nervous disorders,
the trip should be a breeze as long as you follow certain guidelines.
Firstly a mixed school of
girls and boys will, biologically, not aid matters on any trip abroad.
One of the only sure ways to prevent awkward explanations to parents after
the trip is to perhaps place boys and girls in separate hotels or, in
the case of a city being located close to an international border, in
separate countries. Another advisable precaution is a night time patrol
of at least three teachers creating an impregnable chastising barrier.
As a general rule remember to always leave plenty of room for the Holy
Spirit.
Teenagers enjoy outdoor pursuits.....
mainly nipping down to the off-licence for a quick sample of German beer.
The skills of both prison officer and army general must be utilised to
prevent students sampling the culture of half the pubs and one of the
prison cells when visiting a German city. Unfortunately, on any trip a
number students will slip through the net so, for emergency purposes,
an ample supply of Alka-Seltzer and buckets should be brought as back-up
for the long bus journey the morning after.
If all else fails teachers
PLEASE remember these points.....
- Remind students that all
German police carry loaded hand guns.
- If someone looks at you
glassy eyed and says "Of course this is tobacco", they are lying.
- If you lose a student don’t
panic..... German food is very tasty and I’m sure the climate will suit
them nicely.
- No matter how innocent
they look treat all students with suspicion.
- Bring a German-speaking
teacher. As surprising as it may seem the German language does not consist
of randomly placing ‘der’ in the middle of a sentence and speaking loudly
with a dodgy German accent.
- If in doubt "No, random
searches are not an invasion of anyone’s privacy"
Bon Voyage and Auf Wiedersehn.
Back to the top
|