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Boys, Boys, Boys

Ciara O’Donovan
Ard Scoil Pobail, Beanntrai, Co. Kerry

(This article is entirely fictitious and doesn't refer to specific persons. It is just a generalisation and does not aim to stereotype.)

Similar clothes, hairstyles, hobbies and hangouts, my article is about the obvious: 'the typical group of lads'. They exist in schools, on the street, in discos, at matches and all other unmentioned social gatherings.

1. The intellectual: He is ambitious and works at his studies; he likes school and wants to succeed in life. But this poor lad is jeered at by his so-called group of friends for being a suck, teachers pet, lick-ass, and a lot more. Deep down they are jealous of him and perhaps they long to be just as brainy.

2. The macho man: He is strong in a physical way and likes to exaggerate this masculinity. He likes to demonstrate his male powers to girls by fighting, name calling and acting the 'hard man'. He doesn't realise that everybody smirks and laughs behind his back. If he did, his pride and high opinion of himself would be seriously wounded.

3. The misogynist: Although quite unusual among the male population, this boy has a profound hatred for women. Perhaps it is due to his family background, being let down by girls or just maybe he doesn't know how to communicate with them and therefore develops this unorthodox opinion of the female species.

4. The sleaze bag: A sordid and sneaky individual, the slimeball of the gang. Sometimes he is admired by his fellow gang members for being so forward with girls. He is a womaniser and likes to joke about female’s sexuality. Some girls find him amusing and others think he is discriminating against womanhood.

5. The complex one: Psychologists couldn't figure out what is going on in this boy’s head. His behaviour and character is somewhat abnormal. One minute he is moody and the next he is hyperactive. Nobody can work out this boy’s personality. Is he shy, frustrated, angry, loving or what?

6. The softy: Butter wouldn't melt in this boy’s mouth; he is a natural charmer with a list of long term girlfriends. He is the type to bring home to your mother. His traits consist of being sensible, honest, caring, loving, genuine and intelligent - the list goes on. You'd wonder how his friends accept this boy; well I suppose they ask for advice about their girlfriends.

7. The violator: A dangerous boy, he gets thrills out of committing violence and talks all day about weapons and violent films. His violent streak began at an early age and gets worse as he fights through puberty. The other lads love his impulsive nature and spontaneity. Along with violence this boy is also over enthusiastic about sex.

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