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Guidelines to be the Perfect Student

Claire Egan
Loreto, Dublin

Rule 1. Studying is a joy that is a pleasure to undertake so take advantage of this great gift and open those books.

Rule 2. Do you really need a social life so bad? Who needs friends when the endless pleasures of trying to solve really long maths problems and the beautiful tales of Mussolini's foreign policy will keep us enthralled day and night?

Rule 3. When you arrive home from that wonderful place called school, don't become so overjoyed at the prospect of four hours study or you may just faint with the excitement of it all. And then that would be five minutes less time to study, how awful!!

Rule 4. Make sure you are refreshed everyday before setting out on your daily wonderful adventure.

Rule 5. So you forgot that there was no school on weekends. What a brilliant opportunity to catch up on study and to undertake schoolwork that hasn't even been set yet. This will guarantee you a place at the top of the class.

Rule 6. If for some terrible reason you miss out on a class always have your mobile handy so you call around and get the tasks assigned to you. To a perfect student there is nothing worse than missing out on class work.

Rule 7. Put the phone numbers of your teachers on your speed dial so that, in emergencies, you can call them up - for example if you are sick with worry over next weeks Geography assignment on crop rotation. Whether night or day they will only be too happy to correct the Maths homework set for next week over the phone!

Rule 8. Do not be taken in by all the social events surrounding the ending of school such as the Debs. They are distractions preventing you from studying - rise above temptation by purchasing a new pencilcase and bag for your next exciting adventure, college!

Rule 9. If your siblings don't allow you to study in peace, invest in soundproof walls. Who cares if your four-year old brother starts crying, this is your future your talking about!!

Rule 10. Finally, do out all your homework five times over as if, God forbid, you lose your precious manuscript or leave it at home you will have back up.

If any of you even slightly take any of these rules seriously I suggest you look at some of the helplines they have advertised in the phonebook!!

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